Apologies for going AWOL, but one does not simply walk into Mordor. Sorry, not Mordor...London.
Without dredging up the past, I feel I should mention a couple of things before normal broadcast resumes.
Wrestlemania was not the best or the worst. I had a very wordy draft about this and could go on, but I feel there were enough critiques of the event without me sticking my splintered oar in. Highlight: Cody Rhodes' new entrance (comic book villain extraordinaire) and The Miz's pre-match trail package. Awesome. Lowlight: Lawler/Cole. Well...just Cole. The less said about the subsequent JR humiliations and knighthoods the better. It was bordering on Boogeyman/Lillian mole territory. Not suitable for vegetarians or royalists.
The Hall of fame was really very good. Drew Carey getting inducted by Kane was swell, the partially posthumously awarded Road Warriors were gracious and Hunter and Shawn had a right old love-in. As did everyone else at the party. And and and...The Miz was sitting next to Maryse and possibly grazing her thigh *snicker*.
Edge retired and it was like cry-a-long-a-wrestling for a while. But it nicely segued into a Christian/Del Rio feud. Christian deserved that title for longer than it took Orton to run away with it. Again.
CM Punk has a plethora of coloured pants. The PPV ones match his Nexus t-shirt. I don't know why this is important.
R-Truth turned heel on the UK dates, perhaps in one of the most awkward exchanges between humans ever witnessed. Jo-Mo is taking a break, possibly to abscond the Prince of Parkour throne. Some British bird by the commentary table was screaming, ''THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!'' when Truth was waving his naughty naughty cigarette everywhere. well done that woman.
Something Bella won the Diva's Championship and guerilla style backstage footage seems to suggest a little hostility between some of the ladies in the locker room. To me, it appeared that Gail Kim, Tamina, Beth and Natty were consciously separating themselves from the others (by way of punching them in the face and telling them to learn how to wrestle)...but I might have been dreaming. Fingers still crossed for the re-introduction of the women's belt though. I wonder which road the recently estranged LayCool will take. Kharma's a b*tch ain't it! NB: I will run out of Kharma puns eventually.
Mr Vince came out of his coma to wish The Rock a very happy birthday. Everyone else was almost put into a coma because some genius decided to book some godawful popstrels to perform. And Paul Walker. Ron Simmons saved everything.
The draft didn't help those brand confusion matters.
Kane and Big Show are tagger champs, but Mason Ryan is quite scary too and may adopt the Orton-inspired 'Way of the Psycho'. I fully expect him to have a rabid animal inspired moniker in the next month or so.
Dolph Ziggler is serious now and therefore has dark hair to prove it. I liked his old persona, but the man's a great asset, so I hope the new one works for him.
One final thing...if you are a bully, then the WWE hates you. This is no way ironic.
On with the music.
Showing posts with label shiny pants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shiny pants. Show all posts
22.3.11
Showdowns and Rawhides
Top eleven-ish things we've learnt this week...
1. Trish Stratus wears teeny tiny undercrackers (nice work cameraman #3) and her and JoMo are probably doing it (WILD SPECULATION AFOOT).
2. Dolph Ziggler continues to be absolutely hilarious and brilliant (see right --->)
3. It is important to always have the mute button ready whenever Michael Cole appears on screen, let alone when he repeats what he's saying several thousand times. In a row. Loudly.
4. Sheamus seems to think it's awfully amusing that an Irish man has ownership of the United States championship. Daniel Bryan doesn't.
5. Sin Cara is going to be super fantastic and everyone thinks so because he's got a very nice, newly emblazoned name promo.
6. Ted DiBiase doesn't deserve to be used as a punching bag.
7. Cody Rhodes doesn't bother with tights anymore, because he's got towelie for company.
8. Randy Orton has a very large tour bus and a very tiny wife.
9. Punk gives great skit.
10. Josh Matthews was afflicted with laryngitis and/or asleep for all of Smackdown apart from the steel cage match where he woke up and gave 110% like the little trooper he is.
11. Everyone seems to have forgotten a) what brand they are assigned to and b) that Undertaker already beat Triple H ten years ago. But a little hell up near Mania time is okay I expect.
12 days kids. Hope you've got your parties planned.
1. Trish Stratus wears teeny tiny undercrackers (nice work cameraman #3) and her and JoMo are probably doing it (WILD SPECULATION AFOOT).
2. Dolph Ziggler continues to be absolutely hilarious and brilliant (see right --->)
3. It is important to always have the mute button ready whenever Michael Cole appears on screen, let alone when he repeats what he's saying several thousand times. In a row. Loudly.
4. Sheamus seems to think it's awfully amusing that an Irish man has ownership of the United States championship. Daniel Bryan doesn't.
5. Sin Cara is going to be super fantastic and everyone thinks so because he's got a very nice, newly emblazoned name promo.
6. Ted DiBiase doesn't deserve to be used as a punching bag.
7. Cody Rhodes doesn't bother with tights anymore, because he's got towelie for company.
8. Randy Orton has a very large tour bus and a very tiny wife.
9. Punk gives great skit.
10. Josh Matthews was afflicted with laryngitis and/or asleep for all of Smackdown apart from the steel cage match where he woke up and gave 110% like the little trooper he is.
11. Everyone seems to have forgotten a) what brand they are assigned to and b) that Undertaker already beat Triple H ten years ago. But a little hell up near Mania time is okay I expect.
12 days kids. Hope you've got your parties planned.
7.2.11
A Weeks Worth of Wonders
Well hey, when did February happen?! As you are all aware by now, the Royal Rumbled and by golly it was a good 'un. We at GTFO HQ (NOT the cupboard under the stairs) have been chanting 'DIESEL' for days now. Let's hope he sticks around for a bit.
As everything's a little laggy in my system still, we've got some Raw/Smackdowny things to catch up on. But, it mostly concerns how flipping awesome it is that Alberto Del Rio won that prestigious title shot at Wrestlemania. Three months in the company and you get the push of a lifetime. We heard one guy refer to him as 'the Mexican Kurt Angle' and if that little sliver of info's anything to go by, we've just been privy to the start of an illustrious career. I guess Fate does have her finger in all the pies.
And God knows we like pies.
It was a bit of a shame one of the big three didn't return to the fold (Jericho/Undertaker/Triple H) during the nights festivities, but we did have a sneaky little peaky at a 'Taker trail on the following Raw (build to 'Mania, get excited). It was a strange episode for the remainder though. Vickie's head must still be spinning from that KellyKelly knockdown. LOVED the Ziggler/Edge opener by the way, cause I know you asked. But honestly, the handicap title match?!? We kinda knew as soon as VG announced the 'no mo' spear ex-hubby' rule, it was pretty much a given that Barbie (Ziggler's words, not mine) was going to drive that finisher home. And since Alberto's going after the Heavyweight title, they might drop the whole angle soon anyhow. There's a bit of me that's hoping they're promoting the Divas so there's a definitive split when the Women's division gets re-instated (come on Kong/Beth/Natalya/Tamina), but this will probably only happen in my mind. In there, it kicks ass.
Although I am a mature and super important growed up, I did chuckle at Hornswoggle thwopping Del Rio in the 'nads with a big party stick. There, I said it. The guy gets double cool points since he gave an AA to Tyson Kid at the Rumble too. For the record: if I don't get a Wrestlemania Pinata at my next birthday party, it's going to be tantrum central.
Also, and this cannot go unmentioned, Booker's back sucka! Spineroonis now dished out via the announce table: one per team member, three if you're Justin Roberts and none for Cole.
Nash out.
As everything's a little laggy in my system still, we've got some Raw/Smackdowny things to catch up on. But, it mostly concerns how flipping awesome it is that Alberto Del Rio won that prestigious title shot at Wrestlemania. Three months in the company and you get the push of a lifetime. We heard one guy refer to him as 'the Mexican Kurt Angle' and if that little sliver of info's anything to go by, we've just been privy to the start of an illustrious career. I guess Fate does have her finger in all the pies.
And God knows we like pies.
It was a bit of a shame one of the big three didn't return to the fold (Jericho/Undertaker/Triple H) during the nights festivities, but we did have a sneaky little peaky at a 'Taker trail on the following Raw (build to 'Mania, get excited). It was a strange episode for the remainder though. Vickie's head must still be spinning from that KellyKelly knockdown. LOVED the Ziggler/Edge opener by the way, cause I know you asked. But honestly, the handicap title match?!? We kinda knew as soon as VG announced the 'no mo' spear ex-hubby' rule, it was pretty much a given that Barbie (Ziggler's words, not mine) was going to drive that finisher home. And since Alberto's going after the Heavyweight title, they might drop the whole angle soon anyhow. There's a bit of me that's hoping they're promoting the Divas so there's a definitive split when the Women's division gets re-instated (come on Kong/Beth/Natalya/Tamina), but this will probably only happen in my mind. In there, it kicks ass.
Although I am a mature and super important growed up, I did chuckle at Hornswoggle thwopping Del Rio in the 'nads with a big party stick. There, I said it. The guy gets double cool points since he gave an AA to Tyson Kid at the Rumble too. For the record: if I don't get a Wrestlemania Pinata at my next birthday party, it's going to be tantrum central.
Also, and this cannot go unmentioned, Booker's back sucka! Spineroonis now dished out via the announce table: one per team member, three if you're Justin Roberts and none for Cole.
Nash out.
22.1.11
Whodunnit?
Poor old Teddy Long. 'Blunt trauma to the back of the head' sure has a vicious ring to it. I fear the culprit who attacked our dearly beloved Smackdown GM may take a while to reveal themselves however, and everyone's looking in the general direction of the new CORRE. I'm hoping there's an acronym in there somewhere, as the extra R seems a tad redundant. Cocky Operatives Recently Raw Expelled? No, probably not. Still, they've gone and denied it and their intentions to aid the lovely (ahem) Vickie seemed genuine. So who is it that's gone and hospitalised our very own top playa? Here are some hypotheses on the matter, while my little grey cells are awake...
* There are a lot of Raw/Smackdown crossovers going on at the moment, so it might be a shady figure working with or for the anonymous Raw GM. You know, just to cement his imminent revelation as 'kind of a big deal'.
* As Cole alluded to, in a rare moment of clarity (before resuming total cowardice), Vickie may have something to gain from taking Teddy out. She's gotten a little used to the taste of power in the last few weeks, and her blinding lust for Dolph might be driving her towards violent tendencies. All hail Dark Vickie?
* It's a well loved babyface superstar turning heel. What a way to go.
Okay, so they're not exactly mind boggling or controversial, but hey, I couldn't just turn around and say 'It's Vince reclaiming his top spot' or something equally ridiculous.
Wait a minute...that would be cool.
* There are a lot of Raw/Smackdown crossovers going on at the moment, so it might be a shady figure working with or for the anonymous Raw GM. You know, just to cement his imminent revelation as 'kind of a big deal'.
* As Cole alluded to, in a rare moment of clarity (before resuming total cowardice), Vickie may have something to gain from taking Teddy out. She's gotten a little used to the taste of power in the last few weeks, and her blinding lust for Dolph might be driving her towards violent tendencies. All hail Dark Vickie?
* It's a well loved babyface superstar turning heel. What a way to go.
Okay, so they're not exactly mind boggling or controversial, but hey, I couldn't just turn around and say 'It's Vince reclaiming his top spot' or something equally ridiculous.
Wait a minute...that would be cool.
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