..you are so welcome.
Anyhoops, this is how things are going down right now in my version of the world. Bear in mind, if you please, that as of this exact moment I have not watched Vengeance, but this will be rectified once the grown ups are out and I don't have to explain why the men in pants are fighting again.
Randy Orton teased us a little while ago with a sort of change of tact, going from regularly functioning psycho to happy, 'look what I maimed, Ma' relatable psycho. Not a big change, I know, but a change nonetheless. It was pretty funny actually, and summed up most notably during the Summerslam match with Christian, where he gave a big ol' bloody thumbs up to the camera while grinning like a merry maniac. Bet that went down well with the board. It seemed he worked it like this for a while - even doing a highly uncharacteristic jig during a Smackdown match - and was generally having a jolly rumpus of a time, until a couple of weeks ago where he reverted back to stage 1 psychosis (see above for details) and then went off the chart and into FULL BLOWN SOCIOPATH WITH MURDEROUS INTENT territory. At this point, I'd like to stop talking about Orton, because I fully believe the man might be watching me from the garden and I'm scared.
Did that curtain just twitch? I want my mum.
Now to Raw ruminations. As little fun as it is to discuss guest hosts beyond the inevitable mumbles of inadequacy and 'I think they missed the point'-ness of it all, I would like to congratulate one Mister Huge Ackman on his appearance. I think the man is either a fan or he did his homework. Either way, thanks for not making me want to die with embarrassment for you. Playing him off against Vickie and her harem Zig Swag (you just wait and see) and pairing him with Ryder was inspired. Nailed the tone as accurately as he nailed Ziggler with that *slightly* too realistic looking sock to the jaw. Approved.
How about this COO debacle then? To be perfectly honest, John Laurinaitis bores me and all I really want to do when he appears on the screen is shout his name out in a poorly imitated version of his voice and check my phone to see if he's texting me. He never is. There's a little bit of me that's wondering if this nonsense is going to pan out like the suspiciously AWOL Raw GM angle did, but that would be really idiotic on the company's part wouldn't it? Fool me once, WWE, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame...us o'shaunessy? I never did get the hang of that idiom.
On the upside, CM Punk and Triple H are totally doing that 'respecting each other' thing and teaming up to take on the traitors/ref bullies/corporate moles of R-Truth and The Miz. This pairing is working out really, really well for the older members of the WWE Universe who, I'm pretty sure, as one hive-mind think that it is supremely kick ass. And, they're right. Largely because a) it may lead to some potentially great wrestling matches b) Punk was allowed to commentate again and c) the universe held a shared mental image of Hunter wrestling a broom stick in just his undercrackers and dress shoes. What is more fabulous than that?
'Air Boom' - really kids? Really? You'll have to deal with the shame of inflicting that name upon us in years to come and you'll deserve the anguish it causes you. The hive mind does not forget. And neither will you.
Is it just me, or does every 'One From the Vault' match on Smackdown have Chris Jericho in it? Don't get me wrong, this is great, but I'm starting to read into it in one of two very differing ways depending on what mood I'm in...
Scenario 1: He's never coming back but they don't want us to forget him.
Scenario 2: He's coming back and they don't want us to forget him.
The former makes me want to cry myself to sleep at night, the latter makes me so excited I want to wee. How oddly the body is affected by emotion.
So Kelly Kelly's turning heel, is that right? I'd be interested, but the woman has the personality of a beached Magikarp and the voice of a dial-up connection. In other Diva news, Gail Kim went back to TNA. Read into that what you will.
Right, dinner's ready and Vengeance is on at nine. I'm going to write some notes while I'm watching so I can ignore them in time for the next post. Enjoy your evening wrestle hounds. Your new mission, if you choose to accept it, is to be astounded by as many ordinary things as you can and shout 'OH...MY...GOODNESS' a la Booker T at every possible everyday occurrence.
Have a nice day.
