You Either Surf Or You Fight

Now, I'm not one to question things too often, largely because asking 'why' like a curious yet impertinent child every ten seconds tends to lead to being smacked round the leggies and means no sweeties for a week. However, I feel that for the sanity of everyone watching current WWE programming, I should question why they feel the need to refer to a particular bird-themed social media outlet every seven minutes. I understand that it's important to utilise modern technology, sure. I even understand why they've used Cole as 'Loudmouth Chief of the Twits' but for the love of Godfather, is it really necessary to harp on about what's trending (not sure if actual word) at every opportunity? That said, I think I've got a pretty good handle on the matter and though I really don't want to brag, I have noticed a direct correlation between 'trending topics' and 'whoever the person currently on my screen is'. Take that rocket science. I am a #genius.

Though the words 'Mick Foley' and 'disappointed' should never ever appear in the same sentence together, I must say the re-introduction of our favourite hardcore legend on the Raw Special seemed a little like it had been left out in the rain, far from home and hungry. Generally speaking, being hastily interviewed by a sartorially skewed (read: questionable tank top), yet beaming Matt Striker and later having to repeat a not-so-fantastic-the-first-time-round segment in which approximately no-one is having a good time is not the way I would have had at it. At least the promo team had a little less work to do this week as I'm pretty sure the instructions for the This Is Your Life video segment read: run John Cena Experience DVD. In any case, the Rock got a good pop for ending the bloody thing and looked like a total badass, which I suppose was the whole point. Marks to Cena for allowing himself to be ribbed and gain even more heat in the run up to Survivor Series. Also, because he kind of giggled when Rocky dropped Foley in the middle of the ring.

I see a lot of people have got their new Winter coats, and am glad that no-one seems to be wearing anything remotely fashionable, thus are thoroughly in keeping with wrestling tradition. King's t-shirts and Otunga's bow-ties get honourable mentions on account of their godawfulness. Zack Ryder's New York pants on the other hand, are absolutley inspired, and given that there are few people sensational enough to sport the Statue of Liberty so close to their derriers, suit him down to a T (or should that be Z). Barrett also has some rather excellent blue tights, with a logo that incorporates both a 'B' and an anchor. Hmm...a comment on current socio/political climates perhaps. It would work to his advantage as a heel... ''I'm a naughty banker...wuugghh''...I could see that. Thank heavens they didn't go with the 'W' and the anchor *Titter*
I really shouldn't mock the man (though he makes it so easy when making Charlie Sheen references 6 months too late) because he is so darned impressive at the moment. One to watch in the next few years, you mark my words. MARK THEM!!

In Diva news...
- the Bella's continue to act like role models to young girls by putting their breasts about in the genral vicinity of Alberto Del Rio.
- roll-up pinning combos: Natalya and Beth's only weakness!
- Alicia Fox has a furry hat!
- Kelly Kelly was in Maxim and it is entirely appropriate to PG programming to show her getting all sexy with a car in her pants! (Also on this point: it's apparently fine to say 'mangina' around impressionable youngsters).
- Kaitlyn shows a little promise.
- AJ is made of pipe cleaners, which is the only way to explain how her body survived that horrific sharpshooter.
- Aksana got Teddy Long all hot under the collar with a selction of euphemisms that were about as subtle as 'Do Me'.

Ricardo Rodriguez is a really superb valet and I hope he sticks around for a good long while. Even if he doesn't stay with Del Rio, though he seems very content as the put-upon announcer, he's got a sort of likeability (like a pet that still loves you even though you've kicked it a lot) that could lead on to great things for him. I might be a bit biased, but I like the idea of managers and valets a lot. It harks back to that mystical 'old school' we all dream about and can sometimes add an extra dimension to characters and storylines. Take Vickie, for example. Still going strong despite having to have her vocal chords replaced evey third appearance. That said, and not wanting to back track, I really would love it if Ziggler had some more mic time. He really is that damn good.

I'm very aware that I haven't mentioned one Mr Mark Henry much in the last few months. I've done a bit of a U-turn on my feelings about the chap and have got to say I'm pretty won over by his run as Heavyweight champ. He's worked hard for a long time, has kept his character tight and been great in the ring with a lot of different guys. The Daniel Bryan (now with extra beard!) match was unexpectedly entertaining (though I thought Big Show was going to turn heel for a split second) and the Sheamus matches were pretty good. I really like that Henry is hanging onto the title at any cost, even going so far as to get himself disqualified at Survivor Series, but he's determined and massive and scary and those three things together make for some good watching. Barricade smash! Ring smash! Big Show smash! SMAAAASH!

I think we can all safely say that Mason Ryan enjoys seeing how far he can throw people-shaped things.

Cody Rhodes is fixed in the face but not in the brain. Some say he has been 'e-mask-ulated' by Orton *chuckle*

Given Sin Cara's injury at Survivor Series, I reckon the WWE might be kicking themselves a bit for revealing Hunico's identity so soon. They absolutley could have kept the doppelganger angle going a little bit longer. Interesting how Hunico's style has altered pretty dramatically since shedding the lucha togs. Not sure how to feel about this guy yet.

No-one in the crowd of Raw knew who or what Bull Buchanan was and made me feel old and want to ring up my equally aged friends to ensure I didn't make him up.

Christian would look funnier if he had one of those cones around his neck that you use on animals when they're not supposed to lick their stitches. Just saying.

The anti-bullying campaign 'BA Star' is being executed in such a professional way that you wouldn't even think twice about Cole's continual mocking of JR as just a bunch of fat jokes.

Well, Dwayne proved he's still got it, Punk won the WWE title, Truth shows no fondess for pigeons and apparently there's a new video game out. That reminds me, I reckon I could make a heck of an accurate Vickie G in the Smackdown! Know Your Role character creation. I think that about wraps everything up in a schoolboy nicely.

Don't forget to check this little tidbit out for a slice of anticipation...

It Begins...


Awesome.

In This Life...Or The Next.

If Vengeance is a dish best served cold, then this year's event was the equivalent of a sorbet-fuelled Christmas on an Antarctic iceberg. Possibly with the addition of Snoop Dog. Y'know, because he's cool. And that's metaphorical. Seriously though, if every PPV were executed like this, world history would have to be re-written with 'McMahon' standing in for 'guillotine'. That's right, kids, I just went educational on you. PIPE BOMB!