Straying naughtily beyond the boundaries of my green and pleasant garden for a moment, I had a little wander over to the dark side of the tracks recently. This was purely out of interest you understand, and definitely NOT because I just happened to discover that TNA now airs on terrestrial at exactly the same time I get home from work. Aaaaaanyway, it struck me as a bit odd how the camerapeoples seem to be incapable of either focusing their lens or keeping their damn equipment still for more than a few seconds at a time. I don't know if it's the norm yet (extensive and very accurate scientific research will be conducted) but they also seem very involved in capturing the best handholding moments and have a deep seated love for belly buttons. Maybe I'm too indoctrinated into the crisp and tasty WWE way of life to fully understand the TNA Bourne Identity heavy stylings of their programming, but.......oh wait, there's something shiny.....um....I forgot my point.
I think it was something like 'Hey Kurt...wanna come out and play in my clean and tidy back yard?'
That's not rude. It's true.
22.3.11
Showdowns and Rawhides
Top eleven-ish things we've learnt this week...
1. Trish Stratus wears teeny tiny undercrackers (nice work cameraman #3) and her and JoMo are probably doing it (WILD SPECULATION AFOOT).
2. Dolph Ziggler continues to be absolutely hilarious and brilliant (see right --->)
3. It is important to always have the mute button ready whenever Michael Cole appears on screen, let alone when he repeats what he's saying several thousand times. In a row. Loudly.
4. Sheamus seems to think it's awfully amusing that an Irish man has ownership of the United States championship. Daniel Bryan doesn't.
5. Sin Cara is going to be super fantastic and everyone thinks so because he's got a very nice, newly emblazoned name promo.
6. Ted DiBiase doesn't deserve to be used as a punching bag.
7. Cody Rhodes doesn't bother with tights anymore, because he's got towelie for company.
8. Randy Orton has a very large tour bus and a very tiny wife.
9. Punk gives great skit.
10. Josh Matthews was afflicted with laryngitis and/or asleep for all of Smackdown apart from the steel cage match where he woke up and gave 110% like the little trooper he is.
11. Everyone seems to have forgotten a) what brand they are assigned to and b) that Undertaker already beat Triple H ten years ago. But a little hell up near Mania time is okay I expect.
12 days kids. Hope you've got your parties planned.
1. Trish Stratus wears teeny tiny undercrackers (nice work cameraman #3) and her and JoMo are probably doing it (WILD SPECULATION AFOOT).
2. Dolph Ziggler continues to be absolutely hilarious and brilliant (see right --->)
3. It is important to always have the mute button ready whenever Michael Cole appears on screen, let alone when he repeats what he's saying several thousand times. In a row. Loudly.
4. Sheamus seems to think it's awfully amusing that an Irish man has ownership of the United States championship. Daniel Bryan doesn't.
5. Sin Cara is going to be super fantastic and everyone thinks so because he's got a very nice, newly emblazoned name promo.
6. Ted DiBiase doesn't deserve to be used as a punching bag.
7. Cody Rhodes doesn't bother with tights anymore, because he's got towelie for company.
8. Randy Orton has a very large tour bus and a very tiny wife.
9. Punk gives great skit.
10. Josh Matthews was afflicted with laryngitis and/or asleep for all of Smackdown apart from the steel cage match where he woke up and gave 110% like the little trooper he is.
11. Everyone seems to have forgotten a) what brand they are assigned to and b) that Undertaker already beat Triple H ten years ago. But a little hell up near Mania time is okay I expect.
12 days kids. Hope you've got your parties planned.
19.3.11
15.3.11
Blasting The Cole Face
Apologies for going a bit AWOL in the last couple of weeks folks. Family matters of a strictly Canadian nature took over and I've had to catch up on my fightin' fix over the last couple of days. Of the twenty minutes of Raw I did catch whilst avoiding the moose and moguls, that angry bald chap Steve appeared and mussed up some of Michael Cole's business, so that was nice.
Speaking of family (and awfully contrived segues) and to add another tasty layer to our Attitude/Millennium Era trifle, what a Sexay surprise greeted us on Raw this past week. For all the good it did Bryan Christopher (aka. Lawler Jnr.) to show up and express his daddy issues via Cole's taunting, the man did whip out those funky dance maneuvers to one of the best (read: grin inducing) entrance themes of the past ever. Banging it indeed.
On the other side of a child welfare case, we got to see the ever-so-blonde-still American Dream Dusty Rhodes supporting his son's obvious insanity by helping him smash up Rey's face. I worry about that family. I really do.
Speaking of Cole, and I'll keep this brief because the man is literally beginning to bare down on my psyche, it was a bit much to have him stick that ankle lock to JR (ps. yay! JR!). If the man gets any more hateful he will have to start sleeping in a cell for his own protection. Probably from Justin Roberts. Congratulations to the company for creating such a great villain though, glass case of emotion and all.
Speaking of emotions, a pumped up, p*ssed off Sheamus went ahead and won himself the US title from an on top form (as always) Daniel Bryan. There was a tiny piece of me (by my patella, thanks for asking) that thought our Celtic Warrior might turn face after this losing streak/King of the Ring curse thing, but I think that minor theory got hung out to dry by a big boot to the face and trash talk.
Speaking of curses......Snooki. At Wrestlemania. Yup. That happened.
Speaking of Wrestlemania, someone's been furiously editing a nice lot of promo trails for the ever expanding card. Triple H vs Undertaker should be a slobberknocker fest of the meatiest proportions. Plus, HBK is looking set to make an appearance or two before and at the event. The No Holds Barred stipulation could mean some run ins, but I reckon The Game will want to take out The Phenom by himself. Guts and glory and all that. If this match up is anything near to the calibre of the previous streak extenders, then I am ready to be blown away (like a big purple pinwheel!).
Speaking of streaking, I should mention also that Chris Jericho will be appearing in this year's Dancing with the Stars. I'm pretty sure no-one knows how to react to this just yet. Kudos to The Sun (NOT A MISPRINT) for using the headline 'Break the Waltz Down'. Ace. Let's hope he'll 'Y 2 sashay' his way to victory...
I'm going to wash my mouth out now.
Speaking of family (and awfully contrived segues) and to add another tasty layer to our Attitude/Millennium Era trifle, what a Sexay surprise greeted us on Raw this past week. For all the good it did Bryan Christopher (aka. Lawler Jnr.) to show up and express his daddy issues via Cole's taunting, the man did whip out those funky dance maneuvers to one of the best (read: grin inducing) entrance themes of the past ever. Banging it indeed.
On the other side of a child welfare case, we got to see the ever-so-blonde-still American Dream Dusty Rhodes supporting his son's obvious insanity by helping him smash up Rey's face. I worry about that family. I really do.
Speaking of Cole, and I'll keep this brief because the man is literally beginning to bare down on my psyche, it was a bit much to have him stick that ankle lock to JR (ps. yay! JR!). If the man gets any more hateful he will have to start sleeping in a cell for his own protection. Probably from Justin Roberts. Congratulations to the company for creating such a great villain though, glass case of emotion and all.
Speaking of emotions, a pumped up, p*ssed off Sheamus went ahead and won himself the US title from an on top form (as always) Daniel Bryan. There was a tiny piece of me (by my patella, thanks for asking) that thought our Celtic Warrior might turn face after this losing streak/King of the Ring curse thing, but I think that minor theory got hung out to dry by a big boot to the face and trash talk.
Speaking of curses......Snooki. At Wrestlemania. Yup. That happened.
Speaking of Wrestlemania, someone's been furiously editing a nice lot of promo trails for the ever expanding card. Triple H vs Undertaker should be a slobberknocker fest of the meatiest proportions. Plus, HBK is looking set to make an appearance or two before and at the event. The No Holds Barred stipulation could mean some run ins, but I reckon The Game will want to take out The Phenom by himself. Guts and glory and all that. If this match up is anything near to the calibre of the previous streak extenders, then I am ready to be blown away (like a big purple pinwheel!).
Speaking of streaking, I should mention also that Chris Jericho will be appearing in this year's Dancing with the Stars. I'm pretty sure no-one knows how to react to this just yet. Kudos to The Sun (NOT A MISPRINT) for using the headline 'Break the Waltz Down'. Ace. Let's hope he'll 'Y 2 sashay' his way to victory...
I'm going to wash my mouth out now.
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